#38
Saturday 9 May 2009
Unofficial Insider Survival Guide to Eastbourne Tennis~PICNICS & ETIQUETTE
(pics to add soon) ( more Eastbourne Tennis Tips Coming Soon )
Picnics and Etiquette
Eastbourne Tennis is the ideal place to have a picnic with a friend, in your seat or in the grounds, you’ll always find a spot. But be warned some are simple some are for posing & some are downright offensive.
Do think ahead.......plan ahead.
Avoid foods that are noisy to eat or unwrap.
(ie apples/celery unless precut~stick to bite sized, no crisps unless in quiet bags or decanted.)
Avoid foods that sound as if you are having oral sex.
(ie cherry toms fine, full size toms no! But close your mouth when munching the tomato as it is not cool to share your seedy ejaculate with the rows below you)
Avoid foods that smell strong.
(NO Eggs/fish ...especially avoid fish if eating oversized tomatoes, the fishy smell combined with oral sex sounds ...don’t be surprised if the dyke behind you throws up down the back of your neck as you provoke awful memories of a one night stand she’d rather forget.)
Avoid foods that are amusing to photograph .....
(we photographers don’t eat on the hoof, our equipment is too valuable for grease & you lot are too good a subject to miss~I recall the old boy who had his salad & sarnies in a sensible ziplock but sitting there, hands in the bag sprinkling the bits he looked like as if he was assembling a spliff. Deep throating a banana is not a good look for you. Caressing the MrWhippy ice cream with your tongue may give more away about you than your appetite for ice cream)
Picnics and Etiquette
Eastbourne Tennis is the ideal place to have a picnic with a friend, in your seat or in the grounds, you’ll always find a spot. But be warned some are simple some are for posing & some are downright offensive.
Do think ahead.......plan ahead.
Avoid foods that are noisy to eat or unwrap.
(ie apples/celery unless precut~stick to bite sized, no crisps unless in quiet bags or decanted.)
Avoid foods that sound as if you are having oral sex.
(ie cherry toms fine, full size toms no! But close your mouth when munching the tomato as it is not cool to share your seedy ejaculate with the rows below you)
Avoid foods that smell strong.
(NO Eggs/fish ...especially avoid fish if eating oversized tomatoes, the fishy smell combined with oral sex sounds ...don’t be surprised if the dyke behind you throws up down the back of your neck as you provoke awful memories of a one night stand she’d rather forget.)
Avoid foods that are amusing to photograph .....
(we photographers don’t eat on the hoof, our equipment is too valuable for grease & you lot are too good a subject to miss~I recall the old boy who had his salad & sarnies in a sensible ziplock but sitting there, hands in the bag sprinkling the bits he looked like as if he was assembling a spliff. Deep throating a banana is not a good look for you. Caressing the MrWhippy ice cream with your tongue may give more away about you than your appetite for ice cream)
Pre-plan your eating & disposal.
Much better to hand a little picnic box to your companion than trying to open ten containers or juggling them under the seat...all that head bobbing, from a few rows back may look very different and be harder to explain...the camera NEVER lies...does it. Put your rubbish back in your bag as our local Sita bin men would rather read porn & park up illegally smoking in their cabs than collect rubbish.[insert Sita pics]
Be classy, be English rather than Ingerlish.
An individual 1/3rd sized bottle of red is classy as it proves you are practical.
A thermos of tea (with separate milk in a jar) is quaint.
Though the tea from the kiosk is excellent if you allow the bag to brew & can juggle the stirrer, lid, & tea.
Tea on a hot day ??
Yes drink hot tea. It’ll keep you cooler.
Women need their internal core body temperature to be a degree higher than a man does before a woman starts to sweat. Sweat on the skin is essential to allow you to cool, as it’s the moving air & evaporation that will cool you. Again the long sleeved, loose shirt will help.
Bedouin in the desert drink tea & coffee over & above cool drinks.
A few more Bedouin tips for comfort....
You will be both extremely hot & extremely cold during the average day at the tennis. Regardless of where you sit or plan to sit, I would strongly advise, loose clothing, layers & LONG SLEEVES.
All the sun tan cream in the world is not as effective against the sun as being able to roll down your sleeves loosely. So air can flow & help keep you cool. (though thin light cottons will be less effective than darker ones.) Sleeves also protect you from the shade/wind allowing extra time before you need to add a loose jacket. If visiting on Ladies Day, beware the bottle of Almond liquid though it smells like lotion was in fact Fabric Softener.
You may sweat a bit so avoid colours that go darker when wet. Remember if you wear white & it’s sunny, the glare from your own clothes can be uncomfortable. And you’ll look stupid if you spill a glass of red or a coffee down you. Think ahead.
Regardless of the weather bring a telescopic brolly. They give shelter from sun, wind & rain & provide a little privacy. Also a small fleece blanket (very light & compact)/picnic blanket can be ideal as a territory marker, a source of warmth when cold & windy & as a way to hold hands with your partner unobserved.
©opinion8ed_dyke2009
Much better to hand a little picnic box to your companion than trying to open ten containers or juggling them under the seat...all that head bobbing, from a few rows back may look very different and be harder to explain...the camera NEVER lies...does it. Put your rubbish back in your bag as our local Sita bin men would rather read porn & park up illegally smoking in their cabs than collect rubbish.[insert Sita pics]
Be classy, be English rather than Ingerlish.
An individual 1/3rd sized bottle of red is classy as it proves you are practical.
A thermos of tea (with separate milk in a jar) is quaint.
Though the tea from the kiosk is excellent if you allow the bag to brew & can juggle the stirrer, lid, & tea.
Tea on a hot day ??
Yes drink hot tea. It’ll keep you cooler.
Women need their internal core body temperature to be a degree higher than a man does before a woman starts to sweat. Sweat on the skin is essential to allow you to cool, as it’s the moving air & evaporation that will cool you. Again the long sleeved, loose shirt will help.
Bedouin in the desert drink tea & coffee over & above cool drinks.
A few more Bedouin tips for comfort....
You will be both extremely hot & extremely cold during the average day at the tennis. Regardless of where you sit or plan to sit, I would strongly advise, loose clothing, layers & LONG SLEEVES.
All the sun tan cream in the world is not as effective against the sun as being able to roll down your sleeves loosely. So air can flow & help keep you cool. (though thin light cottons will be less effective than darker ones.) Sleeves also protect you from the shade/wind allowing extra time before you need to add a loose jacket. If visiting on Ladies Day, beware the bottle of Almond liquid though it smells like lotion was in fact Fabric Softener.
You may sweat a bit so avoid colours that go darker when wet. Remember if you wear white & it’s sunny, the glare from your own clothes can be uncomfortable. And you’ll look stupid if you spill a glass of red or a coffee down you. Think ahead.
Regardless of the weather bring a telescopic brolly. They give shelter from sun, wind & rain & provide a little privacy. Also a small fleece blanket (very light & compact)/picnic blanket can be ideal as a territory marker, a source of warmth when cold & windy & as a way to hold hands with your partner unobserved.
©opinion8ed_dyke2009
Friday 8 May 2009
Nightmare to set up Blogger & Twitter
It's too much to expect it to be simple.
All I wanted was a blogger account, where I could expand my TWITTER opinions. Nothing specific, just everyday general stuff. Simple enough....you'd think ?! Basically link them to each other.
So, set up blogger. Ok , However lots of options don't load.
So I went back to twitter and saw the bit where you can put TWITTER on your Blogger account.
I already had
http://welfarehellfare.blogspot.com/ listed as a blog so I added this one too with a comma between... oh no far too complex. When I "added twitter" it would only see this one & added multiple twitters. Even when I deleted this one from the list it STILL only sees this one.
Can't find anything in Twitter help, the ADD BLOG on here won't load either.
Getting pissed off & frustrated with Blogger & Twitter now.
Now the flipping thing won't let me highlight & copy in case it loses it.
All I wanted was a blogger account, where I could expand my TWITTER opinions. Nothing specific, just everyday general stuff. Simple enough....you'd think ?! Basically link them to each other.
So, set up blogger. Ok , However lots of options don't load.
So I went back to twitter and saw the bit where you can put TWITTER on your Blogger account.
I already had
http://welfarehellfare.blogspot.com/ listed as a blog so I added this one too with a comma between... oh no far too complex. When I "added twitter" it would only see this one & added multiple twitters. Even when I deleted this one from the list it STILL only sees this one.
Can't find anything in Twitter help, the ADD BLOG on here won't load either.
Getting pissed off & frustrated with Blogger & Twitter now.
Now the flipping thing won't let me highlight & copy in case it loses it.
I may be some time ....
Now I've set this up, I have a list of tasks
1- link it to TWITTER.
2- try to add my STW video
3- maybe add some Eastbourne Tennis pix ~ Mauresmo perhaps, perhaps a Tennis first timers guide.
4-catch up on news
5- get into the habit of updating this
1- link it to TWITTER.
2- try to add my STW video
3- maybe add some Eastbourne Tennis pix ~ Mauresmo perhaps, perhaps a Tennis first timers guide.
4-catch up on news
5- get into the habit of updating this
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